Twenty-Three

Within any given day, I would estimate that I spew a dozen or so curse words, tell 2 or 3 lies (... nope... even that was a lie... maybe 4 or 5 lies), forget once or twice where I left my keys/phone/fill-in-the-blank, snap at my husband at least once for something out of his control, make 5 or so excuses not to unload the dishwasher or sweep the bathroom floor, form 6 or 7 unfair judgments about strangers, stub my toe or trip up the stairs at least once, complain about a few first world problems, and make about a half dozen passive aggressive comments. I'm going to venture a guess and say that you, sitting right there reading these words off of a bright screen in the middle of your busy life (thank you, by the way!) may be in the same boat. We swear. We forget. We snap. We procrastinate. We judge. We stumble. We bitch. We roll our eyes. We are all such a beautiful mess. 

I've said it before but it is the kind of thing worth saying again: I'm no expert. I don't consider myself particularly knowledgable in life or love or luck or loss or anything that comes along with any of it. All I have is my story. I read once that courage means telling the story of who you are with your whole heart. And that is what I hope to do here, in this uniquely 21st century format. A blog. A blog of nothing in particular and yet, simultaneously, everything that I have known and felt. I turned 23 last month and I wanted to write a list. 23 ways to... blah blah blah. Or 23 lessons I learned about... something. But in an increasingly tumultuous, chaotic, and tragic world, perhaps what we all need a little more of is something so deceivingly simple: happiness. 

These boys are my happy.

So that is what this is. A list of 23 happy things. 23 things that make me smile; make me think; make me feel; make me stronger; make me better. 

1. Listen to music. I don't mean tap your fingers on the steering wheel and bob your head to the music. I mean really listen to music. Pop. Gospel. Rap. Pandora. Vinyl. Frickin 8 track. When you find a song that makes you feel something deep in your chest, pulling at the kind of emotions you haven't felt in a long time, emotions you forgot you could even feel, press repeat and feel it all over again. Music can provide the kind of therapy that people pay thousands for. My recommendations: The Lumineers, Mumford & Sons, Ingrid Michaelson, James Vincent McMorrow, William Fitzsimmons, Bob Dylan, and Rosi Golan. 

2. Call your mom/dad/grandma/aunt/cousin... that person you love to pieces and back together again but don't speak to nearly enough? Call 'em. You won't regret it. 

3. Put down the cell phone. The smart phone is making us all a little bit dumber and I'm as guilty as the next person. I will sit there, playing around on my phone, texting and Facebooking, in the presence of perfectly entertaining people. Try to remember that what you're doing on your phone isn't nearly as important as the words coming out of your best friend's mouth. Looking at that Instagram photo of your coworker's latte is nowhere near as wonderful as drinking the one right in front of you.  Don't be so busy thinking up your next status update or tweet that you miss a real life punch line. The life you're living in this very moment, in the 3-dimensional world, THAT is what really matters. 

4. Fuzzy blankets. Warm socks. Favorite tea. A good book. Enough said. 

5. Give heartfelt compliments. You could use generic compliments like, "You look nice today!" or "Cute earrings!" since they are perfectly nice things to say but I challenge you to dig a little deeper. Find the thing you most admire in somebody and simply say it. People need affirmation, whether they ask for it or not.

6. Tell the truth. Secrets are poison for the soul. Even the most awful, painful truth is better than a lie. 

7. Surround yourself with beautiful things. Note: I did not say expensive things. Find a painting, picture collage, vase, old books, or anything you view as beautiful and place it somewhere where you will see every day. 

8. Wake up early with the intention to do more good today than you did yesterday. It's simple but it starts you off on a positive note.

9. Put on your favorite sweatpants or pajamas straight out of the dryer. The amazing combination of warmth and clean laundry smell? I put that feeling on my short list of favorite things EVER.

10. Say no. You get asked to host a makeup party and your heart sinks. You have no interest in purchasing more eye shadow or lip gloss, and you realllly don't have the time for such a party, but you agree to it anyway. Most of us are incessant people pleasers. We are so consumed with pleasing people we barely know, we forget that it is okay to say, straight up, "I really don't have the time." There should be no shame in that. It's the truth! We lead such busy lives, we should waste as little of it as possible doing things we don't want to do.

11. Clean the house. The actual cleaning-process may completely suck... a little less completely when you throw on some classic 90s jams... but it feels pretty wonderful sitting in a fresh-smelling, beautiful room with nothing left to clean. True relaxation comes after the to-do list is complete.  

12. Go to coffee (or beverages of your choice) with your best friend. Being around somebody who asks questions out of genuine curiosity, listens with their full attention, and laughs at the jokes only you two would really get - it can make up for weeks of mediocre conversations and superficial encounters. We all have "our person." Cherish ever moment with your person. 

13. Winter happiness: Make some hot chocolate (marshmallows required) and snuggle up next to your favorite person for a Christmas movie marathon. Bonus points for homemade popcorn and/or cookies.

14. Summer happiness: If you don't have a pickup, borrow one. Fill the bed of the truck with at least a couple blankets and as many pillows as you have. Take the cutest person you know out to the middle of nowhere. Stargaze. Guaranteed best night of your summer.

15. Create something. Bake your grandma's famous ginger snap cookies. Repurpose thrift store furniture with chalk paint. Make an earring holder out of an old cheese grater. Use a pallet to make an ottoman. Pinterest is full of amazing ideas for inspiration but, even more impressive, rely on your own unique imagination to make something beautiful. My favorite things in our house were the things my husband and I made together.

16. Allow yourself a good cry. Sometimes life is just really painful. Letting worthy tears out from time to time is just part of the process. Be okay with that.

17. Grow something. You start to see food entirely differently when you put seeds into the ground and, only weeks later, can harvest fully grown, delicious produce. Food you're proud of just tastes better.. end of story. Added bonus: you can share fresh, nutritious food with your friends and family, inspiring them to adopt healthier habits of their own.

18. Smile at a stranger. 

19. Tip well. If a server really impresses you or if a barista is working a holiday to make sure you get your coffee, leave a little extra. You probably won't miss that five extra dollars but it is sure to make their entire day.

20. Leave corny, fake tickets on the windshields of your favorite people for crimes like "looking too sexy" or "being too wonderful." 

21. Sweat. There are plenty of ways to get your heart-a-pumpin. Jumping rope. Running. Hula hooping. Pilates. And... other things. Wink wink. Find a form of exercise that doesn't feel like exercise because you're having waaaay too much fun and do it every day. I've never regretted a work out in my entire life. 

22. Forgive your exes. It isn't always necessary to keep them in your life but try to lose the grudge as soon as possible. Take my word on that one. Bitterness limits greatness. That person from your past didn't make it into your future for a reason; don't let a bitter memory of them get carried around in your heart. 

23. Pray. When you're overwhelmed. When you're overjoyed. When you're broken hearted. When you're in love. When you're lonely. When you're angry. When you're so confused you don't even understand your own thoughts. God can understand things that nobody else can. With God's grace, anything... seriously ANYTHING... is possible. Pray when you feel like there's nothing left to do. Pray when you feel like you have way too much to do already. God will always listen.

These are some of the things that make me happy. I hope they work for you too. You. The other foul mouths of the world. The forgetful ones. The crabby butts. The procrastinators. The judgers. The clumsy. The whiners. From one beautiful mess to another: this was for you. May it inspire happiness within even the darkest of days.